It felt weird leaving Ezra at daycare. More weird than I thought it would feel. Last week Ezra was left with Grandma O. That didn’t feel weird. And I didn’t think about it a lot during the day. Today, I can’t stop thinking of Ezra being in a room full of kids and being with some one who is not family. While daycare appears to be safe, organized and friendly, grandmothers are still better, less weird feeling.
Tomorrow should be Ezra’s first day of daycare, and I am feeling like it is my first day of school. I am nervous. I am wondering how the other kids will react. I am wondering if everyone will be nice. I am hoping there are no mean people. I am hoping that it is a safe place. I hoping not to arrive to too late or too early. I am hoping to get along with everyone there. I am reminding my self to make sure we have everything needed for a day of daycare. I am wondering about the room. I am wondering and hoping Ezra is OK when at daycare.
For those not of the techno or hip-hop generation, and to prevent any future confusion of people wanting to hang with EZ-O and not act the fool, it’s pronounced Ä“’zÄ“ Å or like ‘easy oh’.
My mom, EZ-O’s Grandma O, who is like me is know for occasionally mispronouncing monikers and acronyms, seemed to have some difficulty finding the right sonic flow when trying to hang with EZ-O.
Of course, I do kind of like EZ-O pronounced like Ä›z’ Å, and I think Ezra did, too, so maybe a grandma is right again?
Grandma O came out for a week to spend time with Ezra (and, by association, me and Kalab as well). She stayed with Ezra during the day while I went to work (boo!) which was wonderful. I feel kind of bad because she was here for 6 days, and I think she didn’t set foot outside for almost 3 in a row because we had her on baby duty. Kalab and I even got to go out to a movie, and to a halloween party on the weekend! It was so nice to leave him with Grandma rather than a total stranger. Luckily I don’t have to do that until…Wednesday : (
Today’s Grandma’s last day with Ezra, so I took some pictures. Grandma took about a bazillion pictures, but she obviously couldn’t take many of herself with the baby. Here’s a cute one: 
I am not sure if it is a sign he may be a radical, awesome, and cool left handed person, but Ezra appears to prefer to suck and gum his left hand more than his right. Maybe he has a special left hand that secretes a sweet substance? Maybe when he is breast feeding and placing his hand on either side of the breast some milk spreads on his left hand creating a treat for him to savor later when bored?
I am not sure if Ezra will have a dominate left hand or a dominate right hand, but he sure does love to suck on his left hand.
It is morning. I just woke up. I woke up not because Ezra was wake and practicing his beatbox skills, or because Ezra was wanting to be fussy for attention, or awake because he had a bit of poop in his diaper. I woke because I had my alarm set, and it was time to wake up. …This has been happening more and more lately.
Though -v- does wake during the night to feed Ezra, I have been able to sleep through the night even though Ezra still sleeps in his bassinet in our room. And while he still makes his beatbox noises, they are not as loud. Or I have become adjusted to them as he may have become adjusted to me talking in my sleep. I don’t know. It could be I am just so tired from trying to be a father that I sleep deep and block everything out. It could. But I think it is because Ezra is sleeping more deeply because Ezra is adjusting to being a baby. The boy gets tired. He sleeps through most the night.
First of all, I can’t even begin to write about how much it has sucked to go back to work this week. I think about it right now, and it makes me cry because I know I have to get up in the morning and do it again.
So instead, I will skip that for now and also write about the holy-crap-that’s-ginormous box of clothes we got from T&K today. I do not have a picture of the clothes while they were in the box, nor do I have one of the box, but I do have this one of the clothes sorted into piles on the floor (the pretty kitty hiding in the midst of the clothing towers is sassy van katten, and she did not come with the box of clothes). Woah!
We will have to come up with a good and appropriate way to thank them for this great big surprise clothing surplus. We will be able to change Ezra 4 times a day and still probably not have gone through everything. But yet, we will still also get to do laundry less frequently!
-v- and I received a HUGE box of cloths for Ezra today. The box was from our friends T and K, who have a son that is one year older than Ezra. We had been expecting a box of cloths from them, but to be honest we did think it would be this much.
WOW! is all I have to think, say, write, and feel when I see the cloths heaping out of the box. There’s Hawaiian shirts, baseball body suits, body suits that look like Winnie the Pooh, jean jackets, pajamas, pants, shirts, t-shirts, jeans, sweat pants, sweat shirts, swim trunks, hats. This is the mother load of all baby cloths, and it is ours to dress Ezra for some time. It is too bad Ezra can’t appreciate what a styling child he will now be as he continues to grow and grow.
Yay for hand-me-downs! Yay for recycling. Yay for not needing to pay for all this stuff! Yay for T and K. Woo Hoo!!!
After a long cry for mom, Ezra is now sleeping.
-v- left for work for the first time since Ezra left the womb.
Before -v- left, Ezra was in a really good mood.
Ezra and I were smiling and making noises and talking about stuff. I was talking to him about some process I am writing for Money Job. He just smiled and didn’t say anything, which is what most people do when I talk about writing processes. Then -v- came down, and we began talking and making noises and smiling with Ezra.
Then -v- started getting ready to leave for work.
Ezra became fussy Ezra: shaky fists; pouty lip; red face; pivoting head; eyes searching for something.
That something was mom. As mom was leaving, Ezra’s fussiness became very loud cries and screams. Ezra reached for mom after I stood with Ezra in arms trying to calm him.
We cried.
We parted with tears still wet.
Ezra is now sleeping.
This morning Ezra was making more talkie sounds. Talkie sounds are the sounds he now creates that sound similar to phonetics. They are almost words, at least in my mind, and these talkie sounds have been occurring with greater frequency.
The other day I sitting on the couch and talking with (really to) Ezra. He was finding his flow as EZ-O making beeps and whistles as replies, but instead of creating a new song for me to record and exploit he began to make sounds like he was saying, „Hi.” I even have it recorded.
This morning I heard more talkie sounds than beatbox sounds. The conversation didn’t last long for I had to go to work, and Ezra still appeared to be waking and probably not feeling the flow to express.
Ezra’s new found skill of lifting head off the ground while laying on stomach then pivoting head side to side is causing his cheeks to be red. Ezra has always seemed to kind of like rubbing his face back and forth against a surface, but now that he can lift his head from the ground while laying on stomach the amount of head pivots has increased. With the increase of head pivots, the amount of times his face rubs against a surface has went from few to many. It’s like he’s trying to respond no to many questions only he has been asked, which has caused his pale cheeks to become bright red some days.
Ezra met his first baby yesterday and he was so charming! I took Ezra to see dad play some soccer. One of the teammates has a baby girl, just 2 months older than Ezz. It was so fun to see them interact - there was lots of staring and smiling, and even some hand-holding! They were totally into each other. Baby girl’s dad was not too excited about the hand-holding…he thought he had at least 15 more years until she started being interested in boys! I think it’s inevitable that Ezra’s going to be breaking hearts at a young age.
Ezra and I had a really good time together this past week - likely our last one together because I have to start back to work on Monday. I’ll be working from home most of the week, except for meetings on Tuesday and Wednesday mornings. Luckily, Grandma O will be in town so she will stay home with the baby. The following week is when I have to take Ezra to day care, and the thought of that just about breaks my heart. 
Ezra’s been trying to eat his fists. A couple of weeks ago he began to nibble on his fists. Now the nibbling has become sucking and chewing. Thankfully Ezra has not grown teeth for if he had teeth I fear he would lose a finger or two. And, thankfully, he doesn’t have to shake hands with anyone because he would be that moist palm person no one wants to shake hands with.
Ezra has learned to lift his off the ground when he lays upon his stomach. He looks like he’s doing a push up that only lifts his head. He can easily clear about an inch of space between his chin and the ground. He can’t hold it up for very long, but he can hold it up long enough to look side to side. Some times mid turn he’ll lose control, and his face will fall right to the ground, but he is strong enough to twist and turn his head to lay his head on its side to rest and ready for the next head lifting.
At least, I think so. In honor of his 10 weeks today, here are a couple of my more recent favorite pictures.
Mama Said Knock You Out!
This is Eazy in one of the outfits from the crazy babies r us shopping trip. He was threatening me with his fist of fury if I didn’t stop taking pictures and give him the boob.
I’m Coming To Get You!
Ezra is now enjoying the new perspective he gets from holding his head up and looking around while lying on his tummy. He was trying to reach out and grab the camera, I think.
Ezra was awake during the night showing off more of his beatbox skills for his parents. His loud grunts, beeps, whistles, sirens, and baby talk kept the night filled with the expression that comes from a sleepless and expressive EZ-O.
Though I was able to sleep and only woke every hour or so to a new and creative set of sound sent forth from Ezra, -v- was unable to sleep because she volunteered to be the active audience for EZ-O’s one baby show.
Now, after a restless night, EZ-O is taking a nap, -v- is sleeping, and I am going to make some caffeinated tea.