Golden Pig Tales

Ever since we took down the last gate, Ezra has been hanging out in the restroom that the gate had prevented Ezra from entering. Now, this restroom is his new favorite place.

The restroom is his new favorite place because he includes it as a place to go when he is running around the house. It is his new favorite place because he goes in the restroom often and closes the door and waits for someone to knock before he opens the door, and he can wait and wait and wait. It is new favorite place because he can stand inside and look around and look around and look around and look around. It is his new favorite place because for the past days he has the desire to eat and play in the restroom, which we have not allowed, which causes for Ezra to fuss and whine.

I realize that after a life time of seeing people step over the gate and step into the restroom and shut the door has likely created in Ezra’s mind a fascination for the restroom. Little does he realize what really goes on when other people are inside the restroom is not eating and playing, but rather pooping and peeing, but he is learning for the restroom is also a place he likes to enter when other people are inside using it.

I am thankful for having a fun, long, Thanksgiving weekend at home with Ezra this year. Thanksgiving dinner was really good, and Ezra ate some potatoes and sweet potatoes, but didn’t seem so much to like the turkey. Then we had “tube day”, which was OK, and today has been pretty fun thus far. Later on today, we are taking Ezra to watch the Civil War game - go Beavs!

They gave him some liquid Valium to make him silly. A few minutes after he was looking around and rocking on back.  They took him away and gave him some gas to calm him further. Then they put the tubes in. The time span between him getting the Valium and him returning from the operating room was about forty minutes.

When he returned from surgery, he looked like I do after a night of drink too much whiskey. His face was puffy, and eyes were barely open and red. He was groggy and fussed a bit, but mostly he sat silent and still as he stared at the ground wanting to be held by -v-.

After the surgery, the doctor said that Ezra had a lot of fluid behind both ear drums and a slight inflammation, and that everything went smoothly during the operation.

Now we are home, and his mood is good. He has been smiling and eating. He did have some trouble walking at first, but now is walking with balance.

Now I only hope the tubes will help him hear and become less susceptible to getting those fucking ear infections.

The last baby gate is down. The baby gate was blocking Ezra from going into the mud room and into a restroom. There was no ceremony or speech or cheer. It was taken down after Ezra climbed the gate one last time and began to pull and push on the gate while standing on it. -v- reasoned that he’ll be climbing over it soon anyway.

I am happy the gate is down. Though this means that we will now need to be sure to close the door to the restroom, and now we will need to clean mud room more often, I will no longer need to hurdle the gate every time I am in a rush to use the restroom, so I am happy the gate has been take down.Ezra is happy for this is yet another place he may roam.

Ezra has finally come to appreciate that his crayons are not just tasty snacks and that he can use them for expressing his inner feelings and desires, and show us a little bit of how he sees the world. He initially was satisfied by using plain white paper but this weekend he seemed to have a personal artistic break through in his mode and manner of expressing his vision. Leaving Ezra to his own devices with a crayon in hand now means that no surface is safe, and we have the walls, floors, and windows to prove it. Occasionally he even turns his artists eye upon himself, and he becomes his own canvas. (pictures to come)

Ezra has been awake for an hour and a half. He has been smiling and laughing and pointing and talking and looking at things. He has sat and walked and ran. He has ate.

It has been calm with only a little fuss from Ezra when -v- wouldn’t let him stand on a chair.

Just now -v- had to stop him from drawing with crayon on the window. He didn’t even put up a fuss like he would when he is sleepy after a day of playcare.

Is this what I miss when he is at playcare and  I am at work?

Ezra climbed the stairs to go play in his room, which doesn’t happen often. I believe that he climbed the stairs to play in his room because his room was clutter free, and he wanted his room’s floor cluttered like the floor of the main living area and the dinning area cluttered with an alphabet drum, plastic shopping cart, purple striped truck with smiley face on grill, shape blocks, plastic bowls, a lunch box, a cotton banana, cotton blocks, books big and small, Ezra’s Packer Cheese Head, a toy hard hat, a scarf, two pair of Ezra’s shoes, pages of a free news paper, tissue box, the red white blue four wheeled walker, pillows, plastic bins, rings of a cone, the cone with base and cone detached, crayons, a small cotton giraffe, the cars with smiling faces that roll forward when pushed back, a wooden train attached to yarn (the toy Ezra likes watching me pull around and make noise), a plastic lid to something, a small cotton animal head attached to a wrist band, more books, a pink ball and a small baking sheet.

Evenings with Ezra lately are fun, then not fun, then fun, then not fun….all in the span of maybe 20 minutes. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s tired, cranky because he doesn’t get the breast anymore, uncomfortable due to fluid or infection in his ear, entering into the terrible twos terribly early, or a combination of all of the above. He has of late been extra prone to tears, tantrums, and breakdowns in the evening between the time we arrive home from playcare and bedtime. Most of these breakdowns are due to him not getting what he wants or not being able to play with whatever object he picks up.  I’ve read that this type of behaviour could be due to being cut off too quickly from nursing - I hope I didn’t pull the breast out from under him too fast. But all those other reasons also seem like  viable reasons for the tantrums he has been throwing, leading me to think that it most likely is some combination of two or more reasons.  I’m hoping that perhaps in another couple weeks the ear tubes will do their part, Ezra will begin to forgive not getting the boob, and we will have the fun Ezra more of the time, who likes to run around and explore and play and laugh with us.

During a span of calm yesterday, I heard Valerie saying to Ezra, ,,One. Nine. Three. Four. Seven. Seven. Eight. Night. Zero. Zero. Wall. Door. Floor. Stair…” and continue until she was able to distract Ezra with the fact I was near. This happened again this morning, but I was the one naming the object pointed at by Ezra, which happens every day.

It’s fun to do most of the time, but some times he points at the same object over and over and over and sometimes I only want to say, ,,Truck, car, tree, tree, tree, limb, tree, tree, leaf, leaf, leaf, leaf,” so many times, but what I want is second to giving Ezra what he needs for a better understanding of the world by connecting objects with words that he will hopefully someday use to communicate.

I also consider this pointing and naming of objects a warm-up to the Why Phase I have heard so much about.

Ear infections were bad during the past, but now that pain appears to be amplified with his want to be soothed with the soothing act of nursing.

I miss his nursing too on days like today for during the past it was only a matter of attaching him to the breast to change a fussing Ezra to a calm and content Ezra, but without the wonder of nursing to sooth Ezra not only is there one less method for us to help him through the pain of his latest ear infection, but there is also agitation he must feel from not being able to be soothed with the breast.

This agitation was felt by all when I got home from work today. Ezra was walking around with a tear streaked face. His arms were raised about shoulder level making him look like a zombie wanting to be held my its mummy. But even holding Ezra didn’t sooth him entirely. He fussed. He cried. He rubbed his ears so much I thought they were going to fall off. So we did give him some baby Mortin and laid him down to sleep all knowing he will likely wake around midnight feeling the pain in his head.

-v-, Ezra and I can only hope two weeks from now, after he gets tubes in his ear drums, that he can begin to live a life free of ear infections.

I came home from my work trip and decided it was an opportune time to close Mom’s Milk Bar for good. He has been a little upset at the closure of what I think is his favorite hang-out/chill-out spot. Ezra last nursed on Wednesday morning. When I woke up with him on Friday, he didn’t really try to nurse so I thought the shut-down would be easy. Friday after we came home from playcare, however, Ezra really reallyreallyreally really wanted to nurse, and it was hard to tell him no while he was wailing and crying. But I didn’t give in, and today we had a couple of requests and pouting when being denied but it wasn’t as extreme as Friday. I think Ezra might be able to get over the end of this era quicker than I will.

Ezra’s going through early withdrawals from breast feeding. He goes through tantrums with head shaking and voice screaming and shouting. His head lunges towards -v-’s breast if near. He even pointed at my chest late last night after waking.

He is grabbing pillows and holding them expecting for the pillow to be laid on -v-’s lab followed by Ezra. Instead he is left holding the pillow feeling the pain of withdrawal. This leads into fussing and crying. More signs of addiction.

Little does Ezra know that breaking his addiction to his pacifier is next.

-v- left for work a thing for near thirty-six hours.

Thirty-six hours of Ezra and me has been a joy. Ezra did go to playcare for twelve hours of the thirty-six, so one may write it was twenty-four hours of Ezra and me, but any parent would agree and know playcare is not their parent and caretaker and they call you, as they should, at the slightest hint of need of a parent.

This was the first time it was only Ezra and me for a full night and day. It was the first time of only me taking Ezra to playcare.

It was fun.

Driving to playcare with Ezra was fun. I had listened to talk radio when I had to dive a lot, but today and yesterday I listened to Ezra and me talk while driving to playcare. Ezra talks more after playcare than before. I talked when there was silence.

Seeing Ezra at playcare was good to see. I had not seen him at the new playcare place, so it was good because he was happy to see other little people and other little people were happy to see him. And when I left (even with -v- during the two days I went with her to know the way) he seems almost embarrassed that his parent were paying attention to him around other people just like a little person.

Being home alone with Ezra was good if not great. It felt good that I was Ezra’s number one parent. It felt good being the one tugged on leg when he wanted attention. It felt good being the one he lifted hands for when he wanted to be carried. It felt good for him to not be reaching for -v-. It felt good being the number one parent even if it is because I was home alone with Ezra.

I am leaving Ezra and Kalab at home and taking off for a brief work trip. They will be without mom for about 36 hours. Hopefully they will not set anything on fire or lose anything important, and will have some time for fun father-son bonding. Ezra and I had our bonding time today - his daycare was closed for Veteran’s Day (really? Veteran’s Day? I didn’t know people outside of government, or Veterans maybe, got that day off). We stayed home together and played and played and played. And read some books, ate a little, and then played and played some more. Kalab came home and looked around at all the stuff everywhere. I think he was a little shocked-and-awed by the amazingly small amount of floor space left uncovered by Ezra’s toys, books, about 30 pages of newspaper advertisements, and miscellaneous other things that Ezra wanted to play with today and I didn’t have the heart or energy to pick up after he was done playing because I was sort of proud of the fun we had today.

Today after Ezra pooped he laid down on the ground and lifted his legs vertical and looked at me. I had heard of him doing this before today, so I was able to act quickly and not question why Ezra decided to lay on the ground and lift his legs vertical.

He wanted his diaper changed. So, I got a paper towel, wipes and  another diaper. I pulled poopy diaper off, cleaned butt with wipes all while he kept still and his legs raised.

However, after I clean the poop he felt he had cooporated enough to achieve what I believe his main desire, which was to have a clean bum. With his objective fulfilled, he decided to continue play while I fussed to get the clean diaper on.

Ezra is intense. From the moment he wakes to the moment he sleeps he is everything. He is the kinetic energy that keeps the house from relaxing as he walks from kitchen to main living area to the red room. He is the force that has us climbing up stairs and walking to the park. He is the will that brings us to sit on the kitchen floor to sit and eat or color with him. He is the it that makes or breaks the evening with his sleep or not sleep. He is the joy that can bring or take happiness if he is happy or sad. He is the little person that is a wonder to see learn and be. He is that rush that causes sleeplessness as he plays, talks. walks, runs, grabs, pushes and laughs from the time he wake until the time he is sleeping. Ezra is love and joy, But Ezra also bring a state of being tired for he is intense with life.