Archive for the ‘Cries’ Category

Teething! Pain!?

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

Ezra woke in fuss I haven’t seen for some time. We are still awake. I think the last time it was this bad a fuss was with teething, which feels to be the cause of the fuss. He has the signs: rubbing jaw, lots of saliva, wants to put his entire hand in mouth, pain. Lots of pain. Lots of fussing. It took a while to calm him. We looked at books. We listened to Johnny Cash. He had a snack. We went to go look at cars, but at 11:20 P.M. there aren’t many people driving. Now he is near calm again. We will try to see if we can get him to bed, to sleep. I feel sleep will be something that we won’t get. That is okay. As longs as Ezra feels some comfort during this pain.

I Love Ezra

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

Ezra is awesome and I love him more than just about anything. The past few days, however, Ezra has been super mom-clingy and moody. Ever since we went back to daycare after our extended holiday/snowday “staycation”, Ezra has seemed to revert to being a superfan of mom and only mom. He gets upset when dad is the one who walks in his room in the morning. He is upset when I am not the one to soothe him when he takes a tumble. He gives me a scowl and furrowed brow when I say bye bye at playcare in the mornings. He screams and cries when he does not get his way in the realm of toys or food or diaper changing. I am hoping that this is a short-lived phase, but think it could be the start of the terrible twos?

Learning To Let The Alligator Tears Dry

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Today Ezra couldn’t get nursed when he wanted to get nursed because -v- was cooking dinner for it was her night to cook dinner. Ezra gave all the signs of wanting to be nursed, but he didn’t get nursed, and he ended up carrying around a pillow following -v-. Time passed. Ezra was pacified with reading a book to him, chasing him around, climbing stairs and with a pacifier. We gave Ezra his water bottle, and he drank some water then tossed it aside. Then Ezra began carrying around the pillow again, but he still couldn’t be nursed. This time nothing stopped the fussy fit that followed.

The fussy fit that followed was loud and long and dramatic. He began with a whine that puttered to a pout then became a scream with crying shouts. Tears came and went. He did his dramatic flops around the ground when he lifts his hand high up in the air and lets out a long crying shout then swoops to the ground like he his giving his daily prayer or bowing to royalty.

We offered Ezra his water bottle and some milk in a bottle, but that wouldn’t stop is fussy fit that became more a test of wills and manipulation than it did about him getting nursed. Tears pooled at corners of eyes. There was on point, about three minutes into his fussing, that I looked at him as he was screaming and crying, and he stopped almost like he forgot why he was making all this noise. The small tears still stuck in corner of eyes faded. His red face went away. Then he began making loud noises again, but this time it was just noise to be loud and for attention. Soon the sound stopped. He found his water bottle, drank some water, found his pacifier and walk away silent.

Stuffy Nose = Cranky, Sleepless Ezra

Monday, June 23rd, 2008

So on Saturday night, the longest night of the year, Ezra went to sleep late. Then he woke up a couple hours later crying loudly. And again a couple hours after that. The same thing happened Sunday night, and looks like it will happen again tonight. The main reason, I speculate, is Ezra’s stuffy nose.

This stuffy nose is sometimes a runny nose, which creates its own issues. But it is definitely a stuffy nose when he lies down. While he’s sleeping (or trying to sleep) he makes all sorts of noise with this stuffy nose - like a cross between an elephant and Kalab snoring. I think it makes it hard for him to sleep because he’s not fond of breathing through his mouth, and there’s too much snot in his nose.

I guess it’s just a cold? He’s in pretty good spirits when he’s awake during the day, which is good. There hasn’t been a fever yet either. To top it off, there might be some teething going on, because he’s also been drooling puddles all over the house. Whatever it is, I hope Ezra feels better soon!

Number 2 of Ezra’s Fussiness Discussion Chart

Saturday, April 5th, 2008

I forgot Ezra’s Fussiness Discussion Chart which is still a discussion chart because I try to talk with Ezra about his fussiness. I forgot to ask and discuss the second question and topic Hunger.

I think I need to update the Fussiness Discussion Chart with Possible Ear Ache, Coughing, Snot Stuffing Noise, Need To Shit, Fall On Head, Fall And Tired, Hungry For Milk, Hungry For Food?

Tonight it was Hungry For Milk with Teething that woke him that we discussed. I only said fuck once during the entire discussion.

Teeth #7 and #8?

Friday, March 28th, 2008

Ezra hasn’t been sleeping well the past couple of nights. And he just woke up a few minutes ago crying and screaming and doing everything he can to shove his whole fist in his mouth and bite down upon it in an apparent attempt to numb the sharp pain of teething.

At least, we suspect it is teething. There are no signs of ear infection, and his passion for wanting to bite hard on something is convincing enough that some sort of teething is going on in that mouth of his. He has also been drooling buckets today. And because teeth #5 and #6 are protruding enough that it’s unlikely those two new teeth causing the teething, so maybe teeth #7 and #8 are on the way?

Less Crying During Yesterday’s Bath

Tuesday, November 27th, 2007

Ever since waterboarding Ezra, he has been fussy and been crying while I have been giving him his bath. While Ezra has not said to me that the waterboarding of two weeks ago has caused him to cry when I bathe him, I suspect it is the reason his once growing love of the water has become something of obvious displeasure.

He did cry when I was washing his face, but that could have been because it was the first thing I washed and therefore he wasn’t adjusted to the water, or it could have been because he associated cleaning of the face with waterboarding. Once I cleaned and rinsed his face and began to wash his arms he became calm.

-v- did help clam, too. In fact, if -v- wasn’t there talking with Ezra while she was waiting to dry and cloth Ezra after the bath I don’t think Ezra would have been as calm. The more -v- talked the calmer Ezra became. So Ezra not crying after I cleaned his face yesterday could have been because -v-’s words began to calm him. Of course, -v- is always by my side when I bathe Ezra talking to him while she waits to cloth and dry Ezra, so her talking doesn’t help explain his past fussiness during bath time with me after I waterboarded Ezra.

I Made Ezra Cry

Saturday, November 10th, 2007

The evening began with -v- leaving me and Ezra for a night out. For the first hour and a half, Ezra was sleeping, so I to got out by focusing on writing and the sounds of the baby monitor.

More than an hour passed then Ezra’s breath became more rapid and deep. Soon he was making talkie sounds with a few beeps and whistles.

Then I remembered I needed to warm -v- milk for Ezra to eat when he was wake, so I stopped writing and rushed into the kitchen to begin to heat -v- milk.

From the monitor, loud talkie sounds distorted the small speakers of the monitor.

I went upstairs, got a fussy Ezra from the bed, checked his diaper (it was clean), and I went downstairs to give him is reflux medicine.

The reflux medicine made him cry. His fussiness became cries of hunger, cries of being tired, and cries of having minty-sirupy-refulx medicine injected into his mouth. Small bubbles formed between his lips during a gurgling cry.

We waited for -v- milk to warm. He cried louder than I have heard in many weeks all because he was hungry and I had not reacted quick enough.

By the time I got the warm bottle of -v- milk to Ezra, he was very red, very agitated, and feeling very tense that bouncing and talking did not help calm his crying state. After the bottle nipple entered his mouth, all crying stopped and the eating began.

He sucked down four ounces of -v- milk.

Normally, Ezra will bed after this feeding. Normally, his medicine is not given to him at this time. Normally, he doesn’t even leave the room and carried through many bright rooms. Normally, he is fed, quickly burped, and laid back down to fall asleep. Normally, -v- is the one feeding him at this time. I know this because it is what I have observed and what I was told when I called -v-.

When he was done feeding he was wide wake after he burped. I tried to lay him down for sleep only to see him flail his arms and legs and make talkie noises with eye lids wide open.

This was not bad but a change of plans. Instead of going back to writing I read to Ezra a book called Divine Creatures, a book about the history and process of the mummification of animals. I talked with Ezra. We did some stand practicing. We talked more. The talk that came from his mouth probably made about as much sense as what came from my mouth. After a couple of hours, he fell asleep.

What typically is a ten or fifteen minute process took about two hours. It was two hours of hanging with Ezra, so I have no regrets with how I used the time.

I just wish I hadn’t made Ezra cry.

We Cried

Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007

After a long cry for mom, Ezra is now sleeping.

-v- left for work for the first time since Ezra left the womb.

Before -v- left, Ezra was in a really good mood.

Ezra and I were smiling and making noises and talking about stuff. I was talking to him about some process I am writing for Money Job. He just smiled and didn’t say anything, which is what most people do when I talk about writing processes. Then -v- came down, and we began talking and making noises and smiling with Ezra.

Then -v- started getting ready to leave for work.

Ezra became fussy Ezra: shaky fists; pouty lip; red face; pivoting head; eyes searching for something.

That something was mom. As mom was leaving, Ezra’s fussiness became very loud cries and screams. Ezra reached for mom after I stood with Ezra in arms trying to calm him.

We cried.

We parted with tears still wet.

Ezra is now sleeping.

Fussy Friday

Friday, September 21st, 2007

Though I would love to sleep right now, and I did try, I can’t because my nerves are on edge. I feel tense and nervous. I sit here expecting Ezra’s screams to call me to attention even though I know he is upstairs sleeping…For now.

…It’s been another fun Friday of fussy Ezra having some sort of extended crying session to welcome the weekend and remind both -v- and I what we will be focused upon this weekend. There is nothing wrong with Ezra, but a baby being a cranky baby only able to communicate some unknown discomfort by screaming at the top of his lungs giving a great impression of a pissed off primate screaming from the trees. But instead of being in the trees, he’s right by my ears while I walk around the house saying, „Ezra. It’s okay, Ezra. It’s okay, Ezra. Ezra. It’s okay, Ezra.” And though the cries only lasted a total of a half hour over a couple of hours span of time, the volume and pitch of Ezra’s cries makes seconds seem like minutes and minutes seem like hours. He’s his own time machine. Unfortunately, he can only slow time down when he is crying and speed time up when he is sleeping.

Being A Parent Makes You Feel Helpless

Sunday, September 16th, 2007

It is likely Ezra has some sort of reflux issue. Most the symptoms of reflux he does exhibit and the methods to decrease the effect of reflux like making sure to feed him in smaller quantities and hold him up right after feeding has helped stop him from crying a lot and puking up.

He has been crying today, but only during the past few hours. It was only after giving him his pacifier that he was able to relax and sleep for a few minutes and not make us feel too helpless.

The helplessness is only further enforced by sleeplessness of being a parent. The mind seems to slip further into doubt of self the more tired one becomes. At least mine does. And it sucks. It sucks because there were many moments of joy today that I had with Ezra today like when he was smiling this morning or like when he was sleeping on my chest or when he was looking around at the world as we walked outside, but all these moments are now silent due to the recent screams and cries of Ezra in pain and misery echoing in my mind. A mind that is wanting only rest and to be calm and to see a smile on the face of Ezra.

Ezra Is/Was Pukey

Saturday, September 15th, 2007

Yesterday Ezra had a day of being pukey. Pukey because the spit up was more frequent, greater in quantity, and sometimes chunky. And he was really fussy at times and crying more.

The pediatrician was called. Pediatrician said we should make sure after Ezra is fed to hold him upright for a half hour for it could be Ezra has acid reflux or just needs more time to burp. Pediatrician said to call back on Monday for it could also be Pyloric Stenosis, which something very serious and could require surgery.

-v- and I took turns sleeping last night to make sure everything was okay and to hold him up right after feedings. We are both tired. But Ezra hasn’t puked up anything but the normal amount of spit up, and he has been calm and a normal fussy baby. Best of all is the amount of poop and pee Ezra has created is normal, and because poop and pee creation is at normal amounts it is less likely to be Pyloric Stenosis. We know his poop and pee amounts are normal because we have been recording all his feedings, moods, diaper changes, and spit up amounts since yesterday then comparing with what we have observed during the past weeks. We will still be calling the pediatrician on Monday, and we will still be recording his fluid input and output.

Ezra and the quiet, sleepy, happy day

Saturday, September 8th, 2007

It’s 3:45 and Ezra has just started his first crying spell of the day. That’s amazing! Almost a full 8 hours of quiet, sleepy, happy Ezra. This is a first. I was able to sleep alone for 2 hours, take a shower, shave my legs, fold laundry and eat 2 meals without interruptions! Dad was happy to have all that time with the sleepy quiet Ezra…but now, the crying has started because Ezra had a case of the hiccups.  Oh well…it was nice while it lasted : )

Baby Dyschezia?

Saturday, September 1st, 2007

Yesterday morning Valerie noticed Ezra hadn’t pooped much for the past day. Ezra was also very fussy and crying a lot. Of course, like any concerned parent, this caused concern and worry. For me, my worry, was that something was wrong with his intestinal track or sphincter and that major surgery could be needed. When I had a chance search the U.S. Intranet I found two pages:

http://www.drhull.com/EncyMaster/C/constipation_infant.html
http://www.drhull.com/EncyMaster/D/dyschezia.html

The latter was the one that actually gave a description of what Ezra had been doing and what he looked like when he was fussy and what he looked like before he cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried.

I came home early from work because both mom and baby were beyond fussy. Ezra did poop a little during the day, but he was still not sleeping much and there wasn’t much poop coming out. And he was still crying an endless oscillating wail of the need of relief. Between a sleepless baby and a sleepless mom, things were very intense.

Valerie was fussy. I was fussy. And Ezra was just plain crazed with emotion.

Ezra wanted to poop, but couldn’t.

Later in the night some grand parents arrived to help hold and walk and talk a crying Ezra to calm him while Valerie and I tried to get some sleep. I got some sleep, but when I woke in the morning I found Valerie downstairs with Ezra. An Ezra, from what I was told, was a poop factory during the night.

Though Ezra has had a crying session this morning that matches any crying session of a normal day, he is now a sleep (so is Valerie) and calm.

I still have the echo of baby cries in my head.

Fussy Father

Friday, August 24th, 2007

I have become a Fussy Father.

I need more sleep. I need more time. I need more focus. I need more understanding.

When the baby cries and cries and cries and cries and cries and cries and cries and cries my head gets full of frustration and confusions and hope that soon the baby will relax.

I do get tense. And I have been angry at myself for feeling so tense and wishing that the baby would just be quiet for a minute or at least tell me why he is crying. And when I wish the baby would just shut up I feel bad for feeling the thoughts of not wanting to be a father because I don’t know what my son wants.

I am a fussy father because the baby always cries when I have been holding him. I feel I only get to bond with the baby when I change its diaper or burp it or between feedings when I try calm the baby.

Baby Bonding

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007

I have returned to work only after two weeks because I only have so much Personal Time Off, and because we are unable to support ourselves with both Valerie and I not working during the unpaid maternity/paternity leave.

As a new mother, Valerie will have a total of eight weeks off work to care for the baby and bond with it. Fortunately because she has given birth, she is able to claim short term disability for six of those eight weeks after her vacation time runs out, so there will be some bonding time between her and the baby while some money will be coming in.

After Valerie returns to work we will then be using a combination of working from home and daycare to care for the baby during the week.

While I could write essays (and just might) about how the lack of paid maternity or paternity leave in America could hinder the bonding of a new born with parents, I haven’t the time right now to write any more essays. Even if I did have time to write more essays, the way America manages paternity/maternity leave is a system that will not change anytime soon and the baby will be an adult before any change is likely to happen, so I will use the time to try to bond with the baby instead of writing.

My wife, Valerie, found these articles for me to read to help with the bonding:

http://www.babycenter.com/400_how-can-i-feel-more-competent-as-a-new-dad_505194_1000.bc
http://att.iparenting.com/breastfeed/dadsbond.htm
http://www.lsj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070813/LIFE03/708140302
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/pregnancy_newborn/home/bonding.html
http://www.parenting.com/parenting/baby/article/0,19840,1592339,00.html

The articles were okay. Most of the stuff I already knew, but it was good to read again. I did like the one from kidshealth.org.

However, I didn’t find the article about how to bond with a baby in America when the father has to go back to work soon after the baby is born and father comes home with a head full of work and just wants to relax for a bit to further relieve stress and there is a fussy baby that not only needs to be changed but also talked to and calmed down and bounced and father can’t think of anything to say. Father needs to lay down, and all the baby does is be fussy and hard to hold, which only further gives the father doubt about what is being done to calm the baby down.