Golden Pig Tales

I believe Ezra likes to sit and crawl on hardwood floors more than rugs or carpets. I believe this because when Corralling Ezra he always crawls to the hardwood floor if there are no power cords to play with on the rug.

I don’t know if he likes the smooth surface of the hardwood floor. Or if he likes how the hardwood floor is easier to slide the knees over. Or maybe he likes the challenge of the slippery surface of the hardwood floor that probably makes the sliding of knees easier, but causes the balance and hold of hands and knees difficult because it has more slip than the rug? He does not fall more when on the hardwood floor, but when he falls he falls fast and hard. He always crawls back to it even when I put him on the rug after a fall. Maybe he likes the hard surface? Maybe he likes the fact the corral’s only moving door is a journey over the hardwood floor?

Ezra appears to like the hardwood in part because it is where we some times put our shoes and bags, which are other object Ezra likes to play with and try to put in his mouth. But now that we are Corralling Ezra in this area, the bags and shoes are usually moved to another location, and he sits on the hardwood floor and crawls on the hardwood floor and some times hits head the hardwood floor.

-v- and I believe Ezra may be a virus vector of the stomach flu that allow us to see Ezra vomit for the first time. We believe this because for the past month after Ezra has visited people or had people visit they have gotten the stomach flu. In fact, today -v- got a call from a friend whose daughter was playing with Ezra on Sunday, and we found out that the friend, the daughter, and the dad all got the stomach flu. AND IT HAS BEEN A MONTH! …-v- and I are wondering what is going on. While we don’t want to believe Ezra is a virus vector, the evidence is mounting that he is a virus vector.

Ezra was like “no way!” on the oatmeal today, so I tried some banana. He did eat a little banana, but not much. I was hungry after trying to feed Ezra, so I made myself a turkey sandwich with cheese, which I ate while holding Ezra. He kept grabbing for my sandwich, so I held it up to him, and he took a bite of my sandwich! He really liked the crust of the bread. He got mad when I took it away, so I let him chew/suck on it, and when he finished it, he whined and grabbed at my sandwich until I gave him a little more. But he seemed to try and swallow chunks that were too big, too often, and he kind of gagged and threw up. But still wanted more bread. I am not sure what I should try and feed him tomorrow…

We woke early. Ezra was moody, but once he woke we had fun playing with blocks and pacifier and a paper book about the color Yellow. He got fussy for a bit, but nothing too intense. Then there was the morning nap. He napped. He woke and he ate. -v- fed him. Then I napped. He and -v- played and did stuff. Then I woke. Then we played with his box of wooden shapes. He some times stressed for the pacifier. He had a constant stream of snot coming from nose. Then -v- went to the store and to do yard work. I tried to feed him oat meal when he was either fussy from a wet diaper or because of teething. He didn’t eat the oatmeal. I am sure the fussiness didn’t help him not eat the oatmeal for -v- hadn’t much success feeding Ezra oatmeal yesterday. …He began teething lots, so I walked him around in the Baby Björn. He was strapped to chest and looking forward, and I walked around the house and around the yard. He was smiling the whole time I walked with him strapped to chest, so I walked around with him a lot. Then I had to stop walking around with Ezra strapped to chest because I needed to sit. We sat on his blanket on the floor, and he began to play with and chew on wooden blocks. Then he tipped and hit his head on the wooded container. He cried. He began to fuss for food. I then became tense. I then fed him. And with the help of -v-, Ezra napped. I napped, too. I woke grumpy, but less tense. Ezra woke fussy, but was happy soon after waking. I was not, but I am now. I did have a good day with Ezra.

-v- was telling me today how the people at daycare said Ezra was pleasant and fun to be around today. This is the same Ezra that was fussing in the morning, fussing in the car seat, and (according to -v-) a bit fussy when they arrived at daycare. Despite all these signs and the past days of Ezra getting a bit fussy because of a cough and teething, once he was around other people at daycare Ezra turned on his charm and chilled out. This is not the first time Ezra has been moody when only around -v- and I only to be fun and happy when around other people.

I am happy that Ezra has been said to have been good at daycare and when other people have watched him when Ezra was fussy with us, but it leaves me wondering how Ezra makes this change from fussy Ezra when he is around us to cute and happy Ezra when around other people. This is something -v- and I have noticed very often. It is almost like he transforms into a whole another baby sometimes when people are around. This is not to say that Ezra is often a fussy baby. That would be wrong for all in all Ezra is actually happy and smiling a lot with us. It is just that are times when we think there is no way he will be happy and smiling because of his current mood only to be proven wrong when people are around and he turns on his Ezra charm.

-v- was telling me yesterday after returning from daycare details about daycare I have noticed too (now that she mentioned it): the other kids at daycare wear pants and shirts with socks and shoes while Ezra wears a baby body suit most of the time.

The baby body suit is the type of outfit babies wear when sleeping or lounging around the house. I equate it to a babies version of sweats and a sweater, but with 70’s body suit twist.

The baby body suit is one piece like a onesie but is thicker and has longer sleeves and leggings that have feet on the end, so Ezra can have warm feet and not wear socks. The one piece outfit also helps Ezra’s body heat to remain trapped and circulate through out the baby body suit for it is one piece of clothing. If Ezra needs a change of diaper, the baby body suit is easier to access than pants with socks with maybe a onesie underneath. The body suit is great for sleeping, and in my mind it is great for daycare too.

Until -v- mentioned that all the other kids are wearing ‘real’ cloths like button up shirts, pants, socks and shoes (even thought they don’t walk) at daycare, I didn’t care. After she mentioned the kids not wearing baby body suits my mind began to remember the same details I have noticed when dropping Ezra off in the mornings.

Most of the kids are older, but not by much, so now we feel Ezra shouldn’t be dressed in his baby body suits for daycare. Ezra needs to become part of the system like everyone else and the sooner he becomes adjusted to wearing shoes and socks and pants and shirts and not wearing the baby body suit then the sooner we can begin to show him how to dress for the system. I would hate for Ezra to want to wear body suits with feet on the legs and cute animals on his feet forever.

Ezra’s been trying to eat his fists. A couple of weeks ago he began to nibble on his fists. Now the nibbling has become sucking and chewing. Thankfully Ezra has not grown teeth for if he had teeth I fear he would lose a finger or two. And, thankfully, he doesn’t have to shake hands with anyone because he would be that moist palm person no one wants to shake hands with.

Ezra, -v-, and I were sitting on the couch. -v- was reading email on her computer, which was before us all. She read an email from a friend of -v- and I, who I shall call A. A sent a link to a video excerpt of a show called Yo! Gabba Gabba, which I had never heard of before.

The excerpt is a short video clip of Yo! Gabba Gabba of some green striped monster dancing around to a song with a bass driven beat and the chorus, ‘There’s a party in my tummy.’ The monster dances around a plate of food on a tree stump in a forest, and the monster sucks down a leg of chicken then sucks down some cheese then sucks down some juice. The chicken (with chicken bone included) and the cheese are not chewed but swallowed as whole pieces of food that slide down the monster’s throat to party in the monster’s stomach. The food and juice then begin to dance and party in the monster’s stomach and stomach acid. The monster then walks away leaving on the plate the green beans and carrots, who are crying because they can’t join the party in the stomach of the monster. The monster, wanting to make the green beans and carrots happy, swallows the beans and carrots whole, and all the food parties in the monster’s stomach because, afterall, there is a party in its tummy.

Are they trying to make Ezra choke? I realize that the cartoons of partying carrots and chicken wouldn’t look fun if they were chewed up pieces of food, but if Ezra needs to fooled by a green striped monster to eat his vegetables because there is some party in his tummy, and if Ezra really believes there is party in his tummy, then maybe Ezra will believe that in order for there to be a party in the tummy that the food needs to be swallowed whole.

Then one thinks: <Well, that’s why you should watch and explain it with Ezra when he is old enough to understand.> And I respond that there is no way in hell I could watch this, and I could save time and ignorance by just talking with Ezra instead of sticking him in front of this collection of images and sounds and hope they don’t kill him with stupidity.

Fortunately, when the video was playing Ezra wasn’t watching for he seemed more interested in staring at his favorite window then he did at the video. Ezra also probably hasn’t the cognitive ability to define the world at the level needed to be manipulated by Yo! Gabba Gabba, and he won’t be eating solid for many months, but kids grow up fast unless they die young trying to swallow a chicken leg whole, so the chicken leg can join the party in their tummy.

-v- and I did watch another clip of Yo! Gabba Gabba of Biz Markie (a beatbox artist) giving a beatbox lesson, so I was happy to see something worth while about the show, and that there will be instructional videos for Ez-O to watch to improve his already natural beatbox skills. I only hope I will be able to censor all the other images of the show because the show seems like it wants Ezra to choke.

I admit that in a year when Ezra begins to run around the house, and has a more developed cognitive ability, I may be a HUGE fan of Yo! Gabba Gabba if it will allows me a few moments to sit down and relax while he watches a beatbox lesson or sees a party in a monster’s tummy.

I have summed my life experience of Ezra’s moods from birth to now. I have equated he has two time states: one in the morning and one in the evening.

I have equated that Ezra during the morning is a fun loving baby that is quiet and calm (most of the time) when awake. Ezra during the morning time is actually a bliss to be with. He smiles and looks around at the world. He doesn’t fidget much. He even seems to poop more freely thus avoiding a tense and unsuccessful poopy dance.

I have also equated that during the evening Ezra begins to transition to fussy baby. The quiet and calm baby becomes loud and fidgety. He cries and screams more often, and he has more poopy dances that don’t result in poops. He is just more tense.

I reason these two time states of Ezra exist because during the morning time Ezra has had the most sleep, so his mind and body are calm and rested. And that I have also had the most sleep and don’t project my tension to him. (This is not to mean when I first wake up I am happy and full of joy, but once I have had some caffeine and submitted to the fact I will not be getting more sleep I wake up and cheer up and enjoy the calm and fun loving baby.)

It is still the morning time. All the cries and screams of last night feel like they came from a different baby than the one I was with this morning and the one now sleeping next to me.

Being a father is still time consuming. Being a father is still difficult. Being a father is something I have come to accept. Being a father is something I don’t regret now as much as I have during weeks one through three. Being a father is something that I question every morning and night.

If kids were like cats then this fatherhood thing would be a easy. Even if kids were like dogs there won’t be much to it. Kids, though they can be scary animals, are not like cats and dogs. They require a lot more attention and time. They require you to live and grow. They need you even when you want to do something else during the day or night beside comfort and raise the baby.

After four weeks of being a father, I have lost all time. And during spans of time I have lost my mind.

Yesterday morning Valerie noticed Ezra hadn’t pooped much for the past day. Ezra was also very fussy and crying a lot. Of course, like any concerned parent, this caused concern and worry. For me, my worry, was that something was wrong with his intestinal track or sphincter and that major surgery could be needed. When I had a chance search the U.S. Intranet I found two pages:

http://www.drhull.com/EncyMaster/C/constipation_infant.html
http://www.drhull.com/EncyMaster/D/dyschezia.html

The latter was the one that actually gave a description of what Ezra had been doing and what he looked like when he was fussy and what he looked like before he cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried.

I came home early from work because both mom and baby were beyond fussy. Ezra did poop a little during the day, but he was still not sleeping much and there wasn’t much poop coming out. And he was still crying an endless oscillating wail of the need of relief. Between a sleepless baby and a sleepless mom, things were very intense.

Valerie was fussy. I was fussy. And Ezra was just plain crazed with emotion.

Ezra wanted to poop, but couldn’t.

Later in the night some grand parents arrived to help hold and walk and talk a crying Ezra to calm him while Valerie and I tried to get some sleep. I got some sleep, but when I woke in the morning I found Valerie downstairs with Ezra. An Ezra, from what I was told, was a poop factory during the night.

Though Ezra has had a crying session this morning that matches any crying session of a normal day, he is now a sleep (so is Valerie) and calm.

I still have the echo of baby cries in my head.

The baby is two weeks old today.

His sleeping schedule is his own. He has yet to schedule the time with me, so it’s an hour to hour, minute to minute, occurrence.

He is healthy. He is already above his birth weight and has no issues eating, pooping, peeing. He has a health cry and scream that come to life every time I have tried to hold him or be with him when he has been awake.

He has no problems letting me know when he is not happy. The cause of being not happy can be anything from being hungry; to needing a diaper change; to needing human touch; to wanting a bounce; to wanting a walk; to wanting to hear someone talk; to all things at once; to just upset because I am holding him (I can only suspect me holding him upsets him because every time I hand him over to his mom he goes quiet after a few bounces and a few words).

His umbilical cord is falling off like a multi-stage rocket. With the separation of each piece of umbilical cord from his belly button, we hope to finally see the bottom of the belly button for we long to see his belly button instead of the snot looking umbilical cord remnants.

It’s a learning experience.

It’s a test of will and sanity. Everyone I talk with who are parents say to me that after the first month things begin to get better. I believe these people because they now talk of their young children with smiles and not yawns and blank stares of insanity.

I have been a parent for one week, and I don’t know what I am doing. I feel I will never really know.