Golden Pig Tales

So…Ezra is still liking the binky no matter how much we want the binky be gone. He asks for it as if it is a fix of something needed to sustain life. He has been better of being without it if he is not bored or stressed. He forgets that he thinks he needs it then stressed or bored and says, ,,I need to use my bink.” …The bink is the nickname of the binky. …The bink needs to go. We will be getting rid of it when he turns three as we tell him everyday. Then I can only hope it will be gone once and for all. He’s beginning to be able to speak with the bink all too well. Maybe he will be a ventriloquist?

Ezra has told me, ,,Santa is not coming here.” He told me this while we went to his room to search for his binky and after I told him that Santa would give him a wonderful, great toy if he gave-up his binky. We found the binky. He took it, and said no more about Santa. And I realize why does Ezra need Santa when he has his binky and a loving, extended family?

There was a binky incident after Ezra’s last known binky was damaged beyond use by Ezra’s sucking and chewing on binky. The binky had holes, so we took the binky from Ezra, so he wouldn’t chew of the nipple and swallow it. And we cut the nipple off the binky, and Ezra found some comfort in holding the binky with the nipple cut until bed time. It was during bed time the fussing began. Then by chance and some looking around Ezra’s room -v- found another binky that had been lost months ago, so Ezra has a binky to sleep.

His new thing is now wanting a binky in his pocket. ,,Put the binky in the pocket,” he says. He says this even if he is wearing only a diaper like this morning. And it was this morning when I realized his binky addiction won’t be going away anytime soon because now he has a place for his binky, so he can pull it out when he needs a moment of the binky. I only hope he doesn’t want us to begin rolling up his binky with sleeve of his shirt like a pack of smokes.

All the progress Ezra had on resisting the addiction to the binky has been regressed. In fact, Friday, Ezra was fussing for not having two binkies while running around the house.

Where once he would put his binky on the dresser before leaving his room, he now sneaks it out not wanting to let it go. Now he wants it all the time.

-v- suspects a new girl and his new friend at playcare who is a bit older than Ezra and has two binkies throughout the playcare day is making it hard for Ezra to quit the binky.

Whatever the reason, we get to hear, ,,Binky, binky, binky, binky…” periodically through the day. And now we understand less of what Ezra says because it is stuffed with a binky.

Ezra has went from fussing and screaming for binky to giving the binky to -v- or me when we leaving his room where the binky now remains.

He does need to go up to his room on occasion to have a binky break. He does talk about his binky, but he no longer gets lost in a binky fit.

It feels that the addiction to binky is waning. Of course, the real challenge and tension will be when we take away his binky from his room, from him.

,,Binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, BINKY, BINKY, BINKY, BINKY, BINKY, BINKY, BINKY! BINKY! GIVE ME MY BINKY!!!” said Ezra many times tonight.

He wanted his binky tonight, but the last binky remains in his room and doesn’t leave because it is the last binky. So it was, ”Binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, binky, BINKY, BINKY, BINKY, BINKY, BINKY, BINKY, BINKY! BINKY! GIVE ME MY BINKY!!!” just about every other moment we were not in his room.

Food and making his imaginary farm were the few times he didn’t say binky when not in his room. When in his room, he got his binky, so his mouth was stuffed with a binky, so he couldn’t say, ”Binky.”

Sometimes if I ask for binky. He will give me his binky, but only when he needs to rest his mouth.

He asks for it when waking up; when he can’t find it; when I cause him stress.

He needed it last night when he didn’t want to go to bed, but it was time for him to sleep. He may need the binky for the next molar coming in.

I say to Ezra, ,,I can’t understand what you are saying,” when I can’t understand what he is saying because he has a binky in mouth. I am hoping to convince Ezra to take the binky out of mouth when he is talking, so i can understand what he says. Of course, I reason maybe his ability to talk with binky in mouth will help him become a ventriloquist good enough to earn a living.

Ezra didn’t have his binky for playcare today, so he had to borrowed the only infant’s binky to calm him to nap. Ezra didn’t have his binky during the drive from daycare, so he sucked on his fingers. Ezra didn’t have his binky for a few seconds after waking this morning, so he wokeup like he was waking from a nightmare saying, ,,Binky, binky, binky…” Ezra didn’t have his binky after going outside, so the first thing he did once inside was go find his binky.

It could have been the first rain clouds in days. It could have been the cold walk through the rain to watch cars that didn’t last long because it was rainy and cold. It could have been his early and short nap. It could have been the fact early in the morning he bit is lip. It could have been my desire to not let him have his binky. It could have been because Ezra only wants -v- to carry him, but she can only carry him for so long. It could have been because it was beyond difficult when dressing him for bed. It could have been that by the end of the day we were all fussy and worn out and wanting quiet. Whatever it was it was one of those days.

Ezra again today shows his evolving relation with the binky as he now calls out for it when he needs a Binky Break. ,,Binky, binky, binky,” he says. Then he rubs his jaw and around his face. He sticks his fingers in his mouth like he did today.

I’ve been trying not to give into his pleas for the, ”Binky, binky, binky…” except at night before bed and in the morning, but today after -v- left for a quick trip to the store, and Ezra went crazy with tears and snot and face rubbing for more minutes than I could handle after trying to read him a book, show how much fun his toys are to play with, ran around to see if he wanted to play Crazy Fun Ball and tell him that -v- would be returning soon that mom would be back that she would return, but he wouldn’t stop crying and rubbing his face and crying, crying, crying…So I gave him his binky and the crying stopped and the world  was calm, and I sat down on the floor thinking how much I wish I had a binky to suck on.

Ezra is 19 months old as of today. And as of today we are beginning the process of weening him from the pacifier. -v- and I have both made the commitment of beginning to let it be known to Ezra that the pacifier is not something that 20 month old kids use, which Ezra will be in one month. AND in one month we will take the pacifier away.

We are also very excited with the fact EZRA IS 1.583333333 YEARS OLD! Yay! Ezra is speaking more words like today when he was babbling words that we knew and didn’t know. He is beginning to name types of cars. He is wanting to have daddy included in more things like his chase-around game and taking him to bed and going for walks with him. The walks have been good to great because he likes to grab my finger when we walk and holds on until he needs to point at a car, a plane or a train.

Ezra’s not losing pacifiers as much as he is chewing through them. He even chewed through the pink Soothie pacifier we bought him a time ago because their stiff and tough nipples were made for kids with teeth, but the pink ones were never something he enjoyed being pacified with for he as soon as he realized they were not the soft and the natural-nipple-like green Soothies he would throw the pink Soothie to the ground and insert a green Soothie in his mouth and go on is sucking way. Of course, with growth comes change. And change comes fast. Couple of weeks ago with no provocation he picked up a stiff pink Soothie and began sucking on it. But despite its stronger and stiffer makeup the pink Soothie is in the trash along with all but one of the green Soothies because he has chewed through them. I am willing to let time and sanity judge and provoke a quick trip to the store to find a pink Soothie pacifier for Ezra. I just hope the last pacifier will last until the morning, so we can at least have day to cope with the fact he has no pacifiers if he finally chews through his last pacifier.

I wonder if there is a P.A., or Pacifiers Anonymous, for kids addicted to the pacifier? If there is, I wonder if Ezra should join for he has shown addiction minutes ago with whimpers and a frantic search for his pacifier last seen behind the couch, but the pacifier was missing from behind the couch for it was in my pocket. I tried not to give him his pacifier, but the intense expressions and sounds coming from Ezra reminded me of a smoker who hadn’t had a cigarette all day. He had only been without pacifier for a few minutes after he dropped it, on purpose, behind the couch. He forgot about it while we played blocks and while he swept the floor, but then suddenly there was a need for the pacifier, so he looked behind the couch and didn’t see a pacifier then began to have pacifier withdrawals.

I have given in. He has his pacifier now and is calm and sucking away. I reason his stress for pacifier need not be for he probably is still going through withdrawals from no more nursing. At least it won’t destroy his lungs and increase the chances of throat and lung cancer.

While -v- and I are slowly trying to decrease Ezra’s allowed pacifier sucking time, so he isn’t the only kid in kindergarden sucking on a pacifier, we are taking away his pacifier during moments when it is obvious there is no teething that needs soothing. This taking away of pacifier has had some resistance, but overall is being accept by Ezra.

However, there are times like today when he feels he needs to have two pacifiers. One pacifier in mouth and another in his hand. And during these times taking either pacifier way will cause Ezra to become fussy.

This extra pacifier appears to serve not only as a spare pacifier incase the other falls out and rolls away under a piece of furniture out of reach, but also serves as another pacifier that may offer a new taste or maybe a dry start to the pacifier sucking experience. For what ever reason he wants to have two pacifiers in hand, it appears Ezra’s pacifier addiction may be increasing and not decreasing, so maybe he will be the only kid in kindergarden with a pacifier (or two).